


Memories in Red

by unifairie



Series: It Ends in Red [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, may add tags as needed, non-consent elements, unrequited love / lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2018-11-04 11:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10989678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unifairie/pseuds/unifairie





	Memories in Red

Negan lay in bed, his mind distracted. He had just had some great sex with one of his hot wives, and still wasn't satisfied. And, he knew why. He couldn't get Rick Grimes out of his head. Just one kiss, and the guy had taken up residence there. Hell, the fucker had literally built a home, gotten out the plow and put in a garden. He sure had planted a lot of seeds. Negan was readily willing to admit, now, that he had forced that kiss. No. Rick, hadn't led him on in any way. He had just let himself believe the beauty wanted it, because he had wanted to kiss him so badly. Now, he felt guilty about it. He was worried about himself. He had always been a believer in free will when it came to sexual encounters, but where did he draw the line. That kiss was cutting a fine line.

And, Rick's reaction had been shocking. The guy had passed out. That was a strong reaction, and Negan couldn't lie to himself, saying he was pleased about it , either. That had been a sure sign of severe distress, but why? The guy wasn't a virgin. Hell, he had a kid, as well as a girlfriend, and it was obvious he'd had something with that fucking, 'Red', the thought of the man still pissing Negan off, even though he was dead. He knew that bastard had been fucking the beauty, and that just burned his ass. He was having such a fit of jealousy over that, he'd probably be pissing green. He could picture it clearly in his mind, unfortunately. Rick laying naked on a bed, while that muscled freak plowed his ass, Rick's legs wrapped tight around his waist as he fucked him into the matress. Negan could even hear Rick cooing in the bastard's ear, and the moans of pleasure, as he was fucked senseless. 

So, why such an adverse reaction to him. Was it just because he killed his boyfriend? That was stupid. Rick's group had killed a bunch of his men, and it hadn't been in a battle either. They had killed them with a knife to the brain in their damn sleep. What the fuck was that? He had really gone easy on that fucking group over that shit. No, he couldn't say he had really cared about any of those shits, that had been his men, but it was the point that mattered. Yeah, he had to admit, it was because of Rick, and his being instantly smitten with him that had made the differance. Now, he wasn't lying to himself and painting it as a romance, at least not yet, but it was more than just wanting to fuck that delicious creature. Yes, he wanted to plow his ass, but he wanted more than that. He thought that maybe he did want to build a relationship with the man. 

A little time with him would be nice, getting to know each other, as well as some fucking sex. God, he wanted to fuck that beautiful ass! But, he also wanted to just have long conversations with him, pick his brain and share memories with him. He wanted those luscious lips on his cock, but he also wanted them hungry on his own mouth, and he wanted to hear them whisper goodnight, before they drifted off to sleep in each others arms. 

Shit, he was getting all gooey over the damn guy, who wasn't even anywhere near wanting to even speak to him yet. Well, he was going to have to get over that, because Negan had no plans of allowing him any breathing space. He planned on Rick spending a lot of time in his company, until he just gave in and let Negan into his life. Then, he'd work on the relationship part of it. But, he planned on fucking him sooner rather than later, and making love to him after they developed a relationship. And, those were his long term plans for the lovely Mr Grimes.  
●●●●●•••••●●●●●•••••●●●●●•••••●●●●●•••••●●●●● 

Rick lay in bed with Michonne, but they didn't touch. He wanted to touch her, but was afraid. She had fallen asleep early, after the Saviors had finally left. Rick was so wound up by then, he was about to snap. Negan had forced Rick to give him a tour of the place, not letting him get away from him at any time while his men had taken Alexandria apart. They hadn't really taken that much though, it being their version of a meet and greet, Rick supposed. Negan hadn't tried any more bullshit, either, just making Rick follow him around, mostly, though he had taken about a half hour to spend at the Grimes house, making Rick sit on the porch with him and drink a glass of lemonade, which Rick had thought was going to come back up, his stomach churning anxiously.

But, the man had finally left, his men in tow, and Rick could relax, at last. He had felt some anger at Michonne then, even though it was irrational. He knew she had only done what she had to, but he was still upset. He didn't want to have to be the leader of this community anymore, and hadn't wanted to deal with Negan. He felt like a coward, but couldn't stop his feelings. He was just tired of having to make all the decisions, deal with all the problems, save and protect everyone, which he hadn't been able to do, had he. Glenn was dead, leaving Maggie to grieve, and Abe was gone...leaving Rick with a huge emptiness that nothing could fill. And, Rick had turned the anger he was feeling toward Michonne, for forcing him into Negan's presence, though if she hadn't, the bastard would have seriously hurt members of Alexandria, though Rick couldn't really find it in him to care, as long as it hadn't been any members of his immediate group, anyway. Alexandria just didn't mean much to him. 

And, that bastard had put his hands on him, touched him, kissed him, as if they were lovers, as if Rick would ever want that, making him remember things he had buried so deep he could almost forget, but now was back at the surface. So, when Michonne had put her arms around him in their bedroom, Rick had pulled away, not wanting to be touched, and he had seen the hurt in her eyes at the act. But, she didn't try to touch him again. And, he wanted her touch, now, as he watched her sleep. But he only wanted the touch, the embrace of confort, someone to hold him, as Abraham had, on that night when he had tried to take his own life, after... Rick couldn't say the words, even now, couldn't put the act into words, though he had spoke them then, to the big loud-mouthed red-headed man, who had been surprisingly gentle with him. 

After... when he had gone back home, telling the group that The 'Governor' had wanted an agreement that he couldn't make, but had pretended to go along with, telling them that they would take out the man when he returned, because there was no other way. Then, Rick had told them he needed some time to himself, and wandered off to an isolated section of the prison. His mind had been in turmoil, as he sat alone, tears streaming down his face, trying to deal with what had happened. He was in physical pain, his body aching so much in a most intimate area. He had been glad the jeans he wore was black, and stuffing a rag down them had dealt with the blood seeping out. That was the most he could do about dealing with it. He couldn't even try to examine the damage that had been done to him. And, emotionally, he struggled to find a reason why? He hadn't really even realized what he was doing, wasn't thinking, as he pressed his gun to the side of his head; only wanted to make it all go away. 

But, then someone had grabbed his hand, jerking the gun away, taking it out of his hand. He had looked up to see the big red-head, looking at him, with a look that caused him to completely beak down. He started to sob uncontrollably, and the man pulled him into his arms. Rick had gone crazy, then, fighting the touch, but the man had held him tight, until he exhausted himself and just lay sobbing in the strong arms. And, when the tears stopped, Abe was there...to listen. 

' I knew something was wrong when you wanted to be alone... could tell your head was fucked up. I've been there, so I could feel it in you. And, I knew... and I couldn't let you... Talk to me, cowboy. Tell me why you were ready to opt out.' Abraham said softly, still holding Rick, gently rubbing his back. 

And, Rick didn't know why he had just blurted it out. He hadn't wanted anyone to know what had been done to him, know his shame, but he had just said it to that man, 'He raped me!', And, those three words had freed his mind. He had told Abe everything, then; relieved to let it out, surprised that he could, and surprised that this man was the one there for him. 

'Had a feeling it was like that. You were such a mess after that meeting, and the way he was looking at you...it was just wrong on so many levels. I wanted to punch him in the face for looking at you like that. And, to threaten you in such a way, so he could take what he had no right to take, what should only be given, a gift to be cherished. That bastard will pay for doing that to you. We will make sure of it, you and me, cowboy.' Abe growled. 'But, don't you ever do this shit again. You almost took yourself away from your kid. I could really kick your ass for that. Your boy needs you. Now, let's go get you checked out, see about what physical damage that bastard did. Don't worry. I will do the checking myself. Nobody else has to know. None of their business, unless you want to tell them... later.' Abe chuckled, when Rick stiffened in his arms. 'And, don't be getting all shy and embarrassed now. I've seen some asses in my time, and I will be careful with that pretty little one of yours, completely professional, cowboy, I promise.' Abe had pulled him to his feet, then, and led him back home. 

And, now, Rick lay beside his sleeping lover, wanting to be held, and conforted, but afraid it might be misconstrued as sexual, with Michonne thinking he wanted to make love, when he couldn't even stand the thought right now. So, he lay alone in the dark, unable to ask for what he needed, and missing Abe, and the way he could confort him, without making him feel sexually threatened, always seeming to know when he just needed a hug. Why couldn't he have seen what the man was before he lost it. He just hadn't taken Abe's flirting seriously, even though he had enjoyed it. The man made him feel good about himself. Abe made him feel attractive but respected. And, every time Abe called him a sexy little cowboy, it made him smile, and shake his head. But he liked it

Abe didn't make him feel dirty and used. It was just affectionate and harmless flirting, Rick thought, not realizing how serious Abe was. Abe just made him feel safe, so he could make love to Michonne, and be a man, again, feel that confidence in himself. And, Abe had let him be the leader, while having his back and being there for him when he needed to talk or a hug just for the hell of it. Abe seemed to know what he needed all the time, and provided it. And, they got closer and closer, Rick and the red-head always together, finding places for the group to stay, scavenging for what they needed, and keeping the group safe, until they found Alexandria. 

Then, everything had started to change, taken to another level. Rick would look up, to see Abe watching him, and the big man would give him a smile, and Rick would smile back, feeling good, and he would blush a little, feeling confused, not knowing why he was feeling some of the things he was feeling; like remembering the feel of Abe's hands, rubbing his back softly, how big and warm they were, how comforting, and how much he enjoyed Abe's arms around him, and his blush deepened. Then, he'd gone to bed, making love to Michonne, and feeling a love for her, but still thinking about Abe's soft smile, the brush of a hand across his arm, or the touch of it on the small of his back. And, he was curious about what it would feel like if their lips brushed together, thinking about what a kiss would be like between them, and not really adverse to the idea. 

But, none of it had happened, just a few fantasies. And, in the last minutes of his life, Abraham had let Rick know the truth, the fact that he loved him, and Rick had to admit, a part of his mind had already known. He was just sorry he had lost the opportunity to find out what he and Abe could have had together. Now, he'd never have the chance to find out what it could have been like. Rick closed his eyes on his wishful thinking and broken dreams, knowing he'd come back to them at another time.


End file.
